The Free Land of The Tugboat Complex is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by a shogun named Marcus with a fair hand, and remarkable for its frequent executions, aversion to nipples, and infamous sell-swords. The compassionate, democratic population of 18.427 billion Coffee Drinkers are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, liberal morass — juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Awnstilts. The average income tax rate is 92.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient a Coffee Drinker economy, worth a remarkable 1,771 trillion bitcoins a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 96,148 bitcoins, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Toy versions of heroin paraphernalia let kids pretend to be their favourite TV characters, vital intelligence-gathering activities are often put on hold for Call of Honor tournaments, a Coffee Drinker companies generally just fire employees in lieu of giving them vacation, and preschools put children down for naps with milk, cookies, and a gruesome story of vengeance. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Tugboat Complex's national animal is the Danky Kang, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

The Tugboat Complex is ranked 95,460^th in the world and 45^th in 0000 for Most Patriotic, with 15.54 flags saluted per person per day.